


Blood

by Enicia24



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Red Room, introspection into what could have been the time in the Red Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 16:16:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6761128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enicia24/pseuds/Enicia24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I will not ask God to make me dangerous<br/>Why would I need to ask them to make me into something<br/>I already am<br/>  ~Asking Gets You So Far - KL</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Man guys, like I just really love Natasha, and I wrote this and then realized fuck I wrote red room shit for her completely unmeaning to.

The first blood you draw is your own.  They make sure of it.  You must kill yourself before training is over.  For some this is the final phase, for others it is accomplished well within the first year. 

That is the mistake they make when evaluating you, the trainers say when you wake up strapped to an examination table.  They will assume you have taken lives because this is true. By the time you catch the attention of others you will have the blood of many on your hands, but first and foremost you will have your own.

Your own life.

Killing is easy, a bullet, a knife, a fall, all easy enough after the first.  Once you kill yourself and do not stay dead the killing of others and assuring they do stay that way is easy.

That is what makes us powerful, the leader tells you and the others who have attempted escape in the most permanent of ways.  We are powerful because we have attempted the most personal of missions and we have succeeded.  We are powerful because even with our succession we did not stay dead.

Yes there are those who do not wake up strapped to an examination table in medical.  There are those who are found and disposed of without ceremony other than a scratch through the nameplate and stamp of failure across files.

If the others were not strong enough to survive the training the memories do not deserve mourning.  This is thrown at you, a sharp barb that worms its way into your mind and what is left of your heart, it takes root and when you make your second kill you do not feel any of what you did at the first.

This is the strength of your training.

The strength of a people who do not know about the training other than it takes place.  That is all they can know about it.  To think too closely on the lives of you and your comrades is difficult for them.  Then they have to pay attention to the way things work.  They have to notice all the little ways you clean up the world they live in. 

All the little ways you are used to keep control.


End file.
